not a pretty picture. not a good. not a bad. picture. but an argument.

Wednesday, November 7, 2012

whosoever thought of such a foolish notion as ending




there is no such thing.  do not weep for the struggling seedling; don't worry for the tree; rejoice in the fall of leaves.  today this year's first snowflakes fall, by far not the first, nor the last.  free yourself and know eternity.

15 comments:

  1. this is a practice for me. i wonder if and when it becomes more than this. i wonder if there is a time when it becomes breathing and then - not breathing. does the self have to necessarily be removed first, the personal? and do i want this? or would i rather the pain? and before this, the reason for the pain?

    xo
    erin

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  2. This is true for me, too. Today while walking around the block, I picked up a huge acorn. It split in half and I could see the outline of a teeny-tiny tree in it, like a photograph almost. I sat and looked at it in awe, then I raised my eyes to the giant tree from which it fell. It's a mystery as is all of life, to me. I take the pain because I have no choice. But it makes me more aware of the rare absence of pain. Do you understand? Love to you, Erin. xo

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  3. i understand, marion, the absence of pain causing you to be mindful. how could we ever note its absence if not for the experience of it in the first place and then its brief exits? (this is both bodily pain and pain of the spirit.)

    and so you see, marion, i then wonder on death. i do thoughtful practice but i feel that when it comes down to it, well, there are certain people i can not imagine losing and doing as well in reality with as i can manage in theory. then i consider doing well, what that might mean. i am in conflict with being peaceful and being passionate in all sorts of ways.

    love to you too, marion.

    xo
    erin

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  4. One would think it would be easy to be a leaf... but it's a bitch.

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    1. steven, heh. who knew it was so goddamned complicated!!!!!

      xo
      erin

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  5. oh, what wonderful pictures! such life in decay!

    there is no end. it is true. there is birth and life and death. it never ends or fails. there is pain. there is pain in love and loss, and there is pain in no love and no loss. it is good and right to rejoice in the fall of leaves. but it is equally good and right to weep. whichever we choose, or have chosen for us, let's do it wholeheartedly, and then die to a new birth.

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    1. andreas, i take a moment to look at the photograph of you sitting. i lifted it from your site before you removed it. (ha:) i kiss the top of your head like you are my son and then i kiss it again, as though you are my teacher. you are absolutely right. (don't shiver at the thought of being right.) wholeheartedly. i laugh at my moments of reason. i live inside my pain. all of it. i want all of it. and i have it. it is foolish for me to ever ask for anything else. but i will again.

      xo
      erin

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    2. to kiss someone's head is very good practice. i imagine that if i were kissed on the head i would feel like a kid, and that can be a beautiful way to be in the world, if there is tenderness and care and love in it. so the image you present me with is a wonderful gift, erin. thank you!

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    3. andreas, just this morning i was imagining meeting someone. actually, i was explaining to them how i do not translate into the real physical world as a person. (hello, annell))) i don't think we allow this of ourselves, or perhaps it is not really possible. (?)

      if i did allow it, or if it was possible, when i meet someone i would not shake their hands or speak but i would kiss them fully on the lips or perhaps on the top of their head, doing my best to drop my shoulders and be absolutely myself (or close to unbeing my self) and simultaneously being open to experiencing who they truly are. i mean this. can you imagine such an intimate world? can you imagine violence in a world where we take time upon meeting one another to close our eyes and kiss one another upon the head?

      only in this way do we know one another as individual and the same.

      xo
      erin

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    4. i can imagine it vaguely and dimly, erin - a world of such intimacy that no one or nothing is left out of every kiss and caress (the whole world is touch, isn't it?). i dream of it.

      yes! yes! it is important for me to know you as you AND as myself. everything moves in closer just to say hello. it's the great secret: here we are!

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  6. a coincidence? - today i spent the afternoon taking photos of leaves, half of them in mud and water, like these ones. reading your thoughts here, i try to remember mine while i was doing that but somehow i can't, it seems i was so absorbed into the act of looking at the leaves (into the leaves themselves) that i can't - i must laugh now. and so i am here wishing i could say something deeper, but i cannot: i simply am here, breathing, in joy. you so often do this to me... don't think that if i keep quiet for long, i am not here... i only wish you could feel my silences, my breathing silences, how they open wings, like little birds, and come to rest, quietly, in your palm... at least this is what i dream of...

    tenderness, so much

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    1. roxana, i imagine you over the leaves. just now i do this, imagine you and i slip inside of a new intimacy. of course you could not cause words then. what more existed at the time?

      in this moment i do feel your silences. they are blessings.

      xo
      erin

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  7. That luck know eternity, when the predominant feeling is irremediably off.

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    1. only in the moments of losing the self can this happen. what lucky happenstance for these accidents of loss to have occurred:)))

      xo
      erin

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  8. Je trouve ce tripyque merveilleux et émouvant....

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"Words at the limit of hearing, attributable to no one, received in the conch of the ear like dew by a leaf." (philippe jaccottet) or even a quiet presence is appreciated))