not a pretty picture. not a good. not a bad. picture. but an argument.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

suddenly


a year ago i took this picture
a year ago this house was standing in a stand of trees alongside the highway
could barely see it from the highway
had never noticed it before
but we made our way in and spent time taking pictures
considering the huge (i think) willows that lined the front of it
the boards, the paint, the light
what was still standing
what was beginning to fall

this year the house has completely fallen in on itself
and so too another house further on that we shot one year ago
one year, that's all

i wonder what it was that had it stand for 100 years or more?
and what was it that caused it to, within one year, fall?

one year
what the hell is one year?
or two or three for that matter?

i took this photo of myself for robert about a year ago
a rare smile photo, as my mouth is apt to go screwy upon scrutiny
it has recently surprised me that i look quite a bit older now
especially around the eyes
a couple pounds on to thicken my face

one year
what the hell is one year?
or two or three for that matter?

and yet, my god, the life lived and changed and lived and changed
one year i'll be standing
and then suddenly

7 comments:

  1. How lovely and mysterious--your photo--it fills my eyes. How wonderfully thoughtful your poetry--it fills my heart.

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  2. don't they call them laugh lines
    i didn't notice them
    the houses fall
    we rebuild our lives
    until we can't any longer
    you are beautiful
    since 1963
    when i first met you

    ~robert

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  3. :-) Erin, I love really what you have wrote, so truely, I ask to me often this question,
    who has estabilished the time? what is time and why a year is a year long..
    what it is this meaning???

    my only answer is that the time goes by, the same if a year has 365 days or 500 it is the same...

    your foto upon from the haus is wonderfull and I can see all your sensibility, and the foto of you is great, at the firt time I tought:
    look at the doughter of Erin, she has the same beautifull red hair... hihihihhi but you are this kind! and this kind is a woman,
    I think you never be old even with rides...

    I'm so happy to see you, really happy

    smile smile smile and hug

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  4. yes, robert, we keep rebuilding
    i imagine what tomorrow might look like
    know i can't know
    but take solace in imagining

    '63 was an especially sweet year:)

    laura, your softness here is so revealing to me. i see you more clearly. i wonder what it is that we all hold so beating.

    i think i might just not ever be old too. it's what is inside, isn't it? will we ever stop being surprised as though we are new? as though it all is?

    smile smile SMILE and hugs to you too!

    xo
    erin

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  5. yEAH,one year, one decade. Pouf. I'm more aware of time passing here in Oregon because seasons change, storms take their toll, houses need upkeeping; so much to do to prepare for each season!

    I'm pleased to see you smiling here; how young you look to me, in your twenties. It must be love potion coloring your face, your hair, helping you smile so sweetly.

    My husband has a picture of me in my youth, says that's who he sees around the house all the time! Ah. I smile at him and see him young too.

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  6. rosaria, this reminds me of henry and ruth. do you remember that piece, a letter sent from each to each, begging to be remembered as they were? your husband sees you as a picture from your youth. farq! it hurts the heart, even this much. i didn't know robert when he was young but i have a photo of him in my mind. i see it in him too. i see it in all of us. we are eternal despite our skin. we are beautiful. thank god there are those to see us.

    xo
    erin

    ReplyDelete

"Words at the limit of hearing, attributable to no one, received in the conch of the ear like dew by a leaf." (philippe jaccottet) or even a quiet presence is appreciated))