not a pretty picture. not a good. not a bad. picture. but an argument.

Saturday, November 12, 2011


what do we hide (and from whom) and what do we choose to reveal
and just who do we think we're protecting?


  1. Your posts always give me so much to think on.

  2. Well ...

    We have a personal demeanour and a public face. So why are we concerned with being 'authentic' at all the time as if it's a fundamental spiritual practice !

    Why should we take our inner feelings and sentiments into the outside world for all to see, in the vain hope that those individual characteristics will be recognised, respected and revered. If when we do our expectations are not met and that there is a chasm between our intimate selves and the wider public world that has concerns of its own.

    In my experience, this obsession with authenticity, regardless of the fact it has become the number one personal development buzzword, actually creates anxiety and depression, and negates much of the joy that can be had in the social world.

    Being able to distinguish your deep personal experience in the cosmos from the public face we need in order to act successfully and positively and appropriately in the public sphere is an essential tool. We are of no use in this world unless we can do this. We can exist at the same resonance as nature and time and light all we want, but we can't apply our healing medicine and positive energy unless we can also act in the material world.

    Long live the public face of man ... let's savour intimacy

  3. birdie:)

    ian, actually i was (secretly) talking about hiding things from ourselves but - do you want to take me to task? do you think i am in pursuit of the popular authentic self? and doesn't that negate itself anyway? and who am i to tell you who and how you should be? and who are you to tell me who and how i should be? (and yet we do this, don't we, by expressing our own beliefs.) and are you very upset with anyone suggesting you be vulnerable? and what if we all were vulnerable? what? is someone going to hurt us more? aren't they going to hurt me/you anyway? isn't this the way it is in life, a series of losses and pain? (but i will not forget the gains and joy!) and if i keep myself well protected, am i going to hurt less?

    i am on my way up to bed. i have pain. a variety of pain. i'm pretty sure we all do. how do i want to spend my life? i do not want to curl in on myself. i do not want to pretend i do not have pain. here, here it is. so what? will i hurt more? no. i hurt the same. perhaps even less for telling you. this is me. i am not physically, mentally, emotionally who i aspire to be. i am less than. i will always be less than. this is me. you think this is some kind of popular exercise? well, fuck all of that! fuck it all right to hell. i do not know how to be anyone else. this is all i am. i do not choose to hide this. i do not choose to have a separate public face. if i did, perhaps i'd be more successful. but i have to say this too, fuck success. fuck it all right to hell.

    we live this one time. for all of my faults and for all of my glory, too, for there is glory, i will live as me.

    and with the great gift of choice, you can live as you.

    now, as me, i deign we should take our inner feelings and sentiments into the outside world for all to see with absolutely no demand or expectation of the outside world. why should anyone recognize, respect and revere anyone in particular?

    but i would recognize and respect anyone who is at least trying to live real.



"Words at the limit of hearing, attributable to no one, received in the conch of the ear like dew by a leaf." (philippe jaccottet) or even a quiet presence is appreciated))